Follow me down the rabbit hole...

Letters for my friend

2009-01-02T00:20:31Z

Well, I'm actually here again, and I've come with a letter thingy-mabober to make a friend of mine happy. I was given this from said friend.

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter. Afterwards, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.

She presented me the letter 'K' so here it goes (I will probably cheat, things I love that start with k are really hard to find):

1. Kingdon Hearts
2. Kittens
3. Kimbly (From FMA. What? I can't like the crazy pyromaniac?)
4. Kite-flying
5. Knit sweaters
6. Karate
7. Kyo Kara Maoh
8. Ketsueki (Blood in Japanese)
9. Kurosaki Hisoka
10. Katanas (I love swords)

Me's gots a question...

2008-11-28T08:50:57Z

I'm wondering, to anyone who actually reads the very little I post here, if they would like to read then review, critique, etc. the novel I am and have been writing since November of last year? I would love it if you do, but I'm not pushing. PEER PRESSURE = BAD. Sorry me silly at 2 am.

(Hopefully) Good Poetry for You!

2008-11-07T23:39:52Z

Yes I'm aware that I haven't posted since July soooooo I wanted say hi. I'm not just filling space though, I wanted to post a few of my poems for you.

They are under a cut because without it the post would be huge. And I don't want that.

The first one is called Like Black and White and was the fist serious poem I ever wrote. At the time I wrote it, I kept thinking about Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu, but still made it so it could be read like with that thought or not, it depends on what you feel like doing.

Love is not what we expect it to be.
It never was.
Fantasies mean nothing compared to reality.
The Heart works in mysterious ways, and yet we sit and deny, trying not to care.
Lives intertwine and merge, never to be separate again.

True Love. Even death cannot stop it.

Light touches, whispered words.

These are sacred in this world.

A world of death and rebirth, of saviors and destroyers.

This world of Truth and Consequences.

The younger enchanted the older the moment they met.

His snow-white hair, as delicate and soft as his skin.

His smiles as bright as the sun.

He melted his iced-over heart and gave it emotions.

The Raven does not acknowledge this, or at least, he does not want to.

For this is a Sin.

It could never happen even if they wished it.

This Love cannot bloom.

He does not want the Snow to melt and be cast out from Eden,

Like Adam and Eve so many years ago.

He must remain pure for the sake of the world, his world.

Black and White are not meant to be together, but they stand side by side.

Opposites attract.

They balance each other.

They give the world Equality.

And the world gives it back.

Stars spread the feelings throughout the night sky.
Or, at least, he hopes.

He wants them back.

The times he did not have these thoughts of what it could be.

Because he knows it can’t be.

Because.

Light pours in through the Darkness.

His Light, his Darkness.

They can’t help it

Give in.

They do.

May they burn for this,

They do not care.

Caught in the moment, caught in the passion.

Let God be damned

Together they are one.

This is how it’s supposed to be.

For Love always prevails.

Yeah, I know it's a bit cheesy, but for a first poem I like it. And as a note, I'm not religious in anyway, but I'm really good at faking it. :)

The second one is named These Horrid Thoughts. I think it was one of those full of emotion type poems because let's just say I was in a very foul mood when I wrote this. I love this peom, I really do and hope I can write more like this.

There is doubt and despair in everyone’s hearts,

As well as there is shame;

And some are so expressionless

There is no given name.

These feelings whispered in the dark,

Sometimes cannot be heard.

In light or shadow, no difference is made,

Like the morals of a simple bird.

The mirrors that reflect us,

The images adored,

The beauties all around me,

Leave me wanting more.

Coming from the darkness,

The words I think I hear

Stare at me with golden eyes,

And yet I feel no fear.

The breath of wind beneath my ear,

Hints at something strange.

Should I follow the example?

Or will my path to change?

In danger or in safety,

The truth is hard to find.

And all the different entities

Leave little to my mind.

These horrid thoughts I can’t forgive,
Even with the choice.
Needing to send these cold lips
A more enchanting voice.

The third is Voices. I find this one rather sad, even though I wrote it. And it's short.

It hurts so much, I cannot stand;

And still you yell and reprimand.

The difference between us crystal clear,

I hope my screams you still can hear.

The Pain that colors life.

My distant gaze is all you see

When the Darkness comes for me.

The life you knew becomes nothing but air

That moves a lonely strand of hair.

The Truth that holds the knife.

You hold my hand, soft and fond,

Hoping I could still respond.

Of course, I did no such thing.

A beautiful song, I silently sing.

The Action filled with strife.

Last, but not least, I have one called Crystal. I think I wrote this for a friend of mine when he was feeling very depressed. Even though it matched his feeling, it made him cheer up a bit. (Maybe it's because he's a poet?)

Hate me

Love me

Do what you want with me

But always remember I’m here

Kill me

Kiss me

Chose to dismiss me

But buck up the courage, no fear

Hold me

Shove me

Fly like a dove from me

But never back down my dear

Heal me

Hurt me

Turn your back to me

But see my true meaning, it’s clear.

And that's it! Any comments, whatever they may be are welcome. I just want some feedback. I hope you enjoyed them!

Hiya everyone! + Demonic Dreams

2008-07-11T06:04:40Z

First time posting here and I wanted to say hi! As an Intoduction I'm posting a short story I wrote recently. It stared out as horror, but it ened up being actually kind of sad. Agin first time posting so I'm not sure I'm doing everything right! Warning: the following story contains homosexuality and language. You have been warned.

Ah, Halloween has come again. A time when children’s pleasured screams and laughter echo through the neighborhoods and candy is worth more than gold. A time when fear is the name of the game and the humans are the players. This is only a façade for the deep roots from which this delightful little holiday sprung of course, and yet it is the only part commonly recognized.

Beneath this candy-coated surface, lies All Hallows Eve, and the fiends that come with it. The ghosts and goblins, witches and werewolves, and let’s not forget the world famous vampires. But these creatures only exist in the imaginations of mortals; the visions of paranoia born out of the fear of the unknown.

Oh this great festival of the dead!

I walk the streets, my eyes sweeping sporadically on the roads ahead, cautiously watching the children run across my path. Their smiles, their eyes sparkling in the dark, all tell of the joy that is founded in unease. It amuses me to no end!

And yet, I feel what they do not. The darkness can be soothing and a comfort one moment, and suffocating and blank the next. Though there is balance of light and shadow –oh, most definitely- on this night of all nights it appears almost non-existent, the witching hour most prominent on this wondrous evening.

As the hour hand on my old wristwatch approached that famed hour, I found myself alone, the lights in the all homes lining the sidewalks long gone out. My feet led me without consent into the shadier parts of town. I didn’t mind; I saw no danger here.

The flashing neon lights around me, I realized, were not a far cry from the colorful costumes of little ones I saw earlier. I smelled cigarette smoke wafting from the open doors of bars and clubs I knew I’d never be caught in. A woman whistled from an alleyway nearby, pouting when I pointedly ignored her; that was not what I wanted.

At half past midnight, I entered an old park, deserted if not for the lowlifes and the homeless that prowled the darkness. My feet apparently enjoyed bringing me into uncomfortable situations, and again I didn’t care. The ribbon of concrete I followed through the sparse trees eventually ended in a classier part of town, the people here slightly more trustworthy.

This time I knew where I was, directing my body rather than vice versa as I had been doing these past few hours. My watch beeped, signaling it was now one a.m.

I moved towards a ritzy hotel, walking in between the large building and another one, this one a bank. At the end of the alley, there was a lighted sign. No words decorated the blank expanse of white painted wood. I knocked thrice on the metal door below the sign.

“Password.” It came from the other side of the portal, just I had expected.

“Trick or treat,” I answered. “And tell Max it’s Zane. He’ll know who I am.” I heard the loud click of the deadbolt and watched the surprisingly silent door –considering it’s size- swing open.

A large bouncer allowed me entrance, opening another door behind him, stairs leading down to the dance floor. The music that wafted to me was rich and warm, a beat you could feel.

This was a club I could be seen in.

Both doors closed after me as walked inside and down the steps. I had reached the bar when someone jumped me. As in literally. Max, one of my closest confidants and the owner of the establishment I now resided in, was now attached to my hip as we lay sprawled on the ground.

“Zane! Where’ve you been, man? You haven’t been around since summer.” He kissed my cheek before giving me a chance to speak.

“Max, I understand we haven’t seen each other for a long while, but I must ask you to remove yourself from me. I can’t breathe.”

“Aw, come on Zane,” he half whined as he stood up and offered his hand to me. “Stop acting so formal. You need to loosen up.”

“And you need to grow up Max. It’s not an everyday occurrence that I’m tackled by a man older than me.” I took his hand, standing beside him. Max pouted just like the whore had done earlier, though he made it much more attractive. That and the fact that I preferred the male gender might have had something to do with the thought.

A more serious look crossed his face as he understood the true reason I was there. “If you’re looking for something, Zane, get it and then get the fuck out. The higher ups are already suspicious. They don’t need to know the truth, got it?” I nodded, the action returning the smile to the man’s previously serious face. I loved the place just as much as he did. I did not want to see all the hard work Max had put into this underground paradise go up in flames.

“I’m only here for that. When I have more free time I will visit you once again. Agreed?”

Max shook his head, “Agreed. But before you do anything, come and have drink with me.”

I smiled. “Sure” We walked to the bar and sat down on the black and red stools. I turned, my elbows resting on the wood behind me, and stared at the dance floor. Everyone seemed to have a partner, besides the quiet flowers that lined the walls. I spun back around, my hand now supporting my cheek. The bartender set down two very fruity looking drinks in front of Max and I –Max having ordered them while I had examined the people. I knew for a fact that they contained some sort of hard liquor; Max’s tastes are not what one would call tame.

I took the glass in my hand and brought it to my lips. I sipped it gently, wondering what was actually in it. I grimaced slightly as the liquid went down my throat; what tasted like vodka burning my mouth.

Max, taking the grimace as a good sign –why I would never know- patted me on the back. “You like it? It’s new.”

I stared at him as if he was insane –he may very well have been- and answered his inquiry, “It’s…different, though I would not have expected any less.” That seemed to cheer him up and he returned to the conversation he’d been holding with the bartender.

I looked back at the dance floor, instead coming face to face with a man that looked no older seventeen. His hair was fiery red, his eyes an electric blue. His clothes matched his image; the color scheme was mainly made of reds, oranges, blues, and purples. I was amazed at how the garments could hold so much color; he showed more skin than a woman would.

He was quite the opposite from me. I could fade into the shadows if I wanted to; my clothes, as well as my own eyes and hair, were black. Yet, that old saying does tell that ‘opposites attract’, and at this moment I wouldn’t doubt it.

“Hey, My name’s Kyo, what’s yours?” His voice was melodious and slightly high, very fitting to me.

“Hello, I’m Zane. You’re Japanese?” I asked. If he was, he sure didn’t look it.

“Yeah, though I’m only half. Would you like to dance?” I nodded, almost entranced. He took my hand, and I blushed. When did I become so easily flustered?

I followed Kyo until we reached the middle of the floor, the music thumping all around us. We began to move, with the beat and with each other, not caring of the stares we were gathering from the crowd. I could feel, as we danced, that this one was special, and, for at least tonight, he was mine.

After a few more songs we retired to the bar. Max still had not moved from his seat, but he quickly turned and winked at me after a glance at my partner.

“Well, I guess I’ll see ya later man.”

“Yes, Max, I'll be here again, don’t worry.” Kyo, hearing our short goodbyes, took the hint, and did nothing short of drag me up the steps and out of the club. “Calm down, Kyo, why hurry?” The moment we were out the door he answered.

“Because I want this to be private.”

“What do you me-” He cut me off, his lips place over my own. I stood there for a few seconds before I kissed him back, only now realizing how much taller I was then him. I brought my arms around his hips and his encircled my neck.

I licked his top lip, causing him to gasp and allowing me to slip my tongue into his mouth. He didn’t protest; in fact, he enthusiastically kissed back. Once his back hit the opposite wall, I thought we needed to move somewhere more private.

“Kyo, would you like to continue this at the hotel,” I motioned with my head behind me, “This isn’t the greatest place for such activities.”

Kyo blushed, but nodded. He let go of me, and I of him, and we walked into the hotel, the ten story Hilton. I paid for the night, shaking off all of Kyo’s offers to share the cost. The way up to our room was passionate and by the time we had reached the bedroom, half our clothes had already been thrown off and were spread across the floor of the suite.

----------------

That night, I made love to Kyo, thinking for just one moment I was completely normal. He was different from the others, I knew that much, what I didn’t understand is why it had to end this way.

As I watched his eyes closed in an eternal sleep and felt his heart stop, I felt something tug at my heart. But there is nothing I can do, nothing I change.

I left him in the hotel that morning, knowing that if and when anyone investigated the crime, it wouldn’t be traced to me.

After all, demons are not real, which means I’m not real. Though I can feel like humans do, the life of an incubus is a lonely one filled with death and deviousness. For now I leave you with this; cherish your lives before I come for them.

Trick or treat is all you need to ask.

End

I wrote this during the early hous of the morning so please be gentle. I also seem to get attached to the characters in my writing, even in short stories such as this. I eventually want to expand on Zane, the emotional incubus, and Kyo , the cute little Japanese gay boy, but for now this is it. The style of writing also happens to be different from my normal one, so to me it's just sounds weird.

P.S. the Hilton reference was supposed to be a joke though it's pretty obscure and probably not that funny.